Should I follow my dream or be realistic?

The undreamed

When someone chooses not to pursue a dream or a conviction, I picture them going to this gigantic room, like the Room of Requirement at Hogwarts where students go to hide or relinquish contraband stuff, like Fanged Frisbees.

But instead of things, people stow away their dreams for safekeeping, often forgetting to come back and reclaim them, or choosing not to. But not all dreams moan and wail about lost opportunities. Some are happy enough staying where they are.

Some childhood dreams are just playthings of a childish imagination. Kids dream of being all sorts of things, like an astronaut, ballet dancer, shopkeeper, etc. These may just be the fictitious experiments of a budding imagination. Often we grow up to have different interests than we did as children.

But there are other dreams that a child, or an adult, can picture clearly in their mind’s eye, know the dream, and be willing to work for it to get there. Because to the child or adult who loves and wants to do something with their whole heart, and has a lasting conviction, they don’t conceive of the process as work, but of play.

But more often, as we become adults, we forget how to play.

The dream may still stay with us, quietened and hesitant like a meek child, but we’ve silenced it. It still has a sway over us; makes us feel hopeful and excited. We can see its swirling, vibrant colours, though muted by adulthood.

But we may push the dream away. There are many reasons we do this. We may tell ourselves it’s just a pipedream, it’s not practical; that we won’t be able to make any money off it, that it’s selfish to pursue the dream, that they’re too old; or that we won’t be any good at it anyway.

Everyone is entitled to live the life that they choose. Whether we realise it or not, our decisions to ‘follow a dream’ or ‘be realistic’ are driven by a subconscious belief and value system.

For example, if a person tells themselves it’s not practical to follow their dream because it won’t pay the bills, they will accordingly choose a job that they believe ‘pays the bills.’ There may also be an underlying value of financial security, and under that, a fear of uncertainty there.

Unless we want to put in the work to changing these beliefs, pursuing a dream may be very difficult. Our subconscious biases are working against us.

Conditioning often primes us to believe that doing something different is dangerous. The unchartered territory may put you in a land all alone, and unless you are self-sufficient in your convictions and efforts, the world of your dream can be a scary, and lonely, place to be.

Neither one of these – pursuing a dream or letting it go – is the right or wrong approach.

Every value and belief system is unique to an individual, so it’s not possible to judge someone on their choices. Your opinion is oranges, the other person’s is apples (and combining them is, sadly, unlikely to make a delicious fruit salad).

However, if the letting go of a dream you once had makes you feel nostalgic, regretful or hopeful when you still think of it, it’s possible that tapping into the undreamed can create you a more exciting life.

When we grow up, we can lose that sense of wonder we once had as children. Routine and responsibility can sap us of joy, and we start being one of those people who tout this kind of phrase, ‘the only thing certain in life is death and taxes.’

If you want to inject some fun back into your life, these lost dreams may provide you a path, or at least a couple of stepping stones towards it.

In Harry Potter, The Room of Requirement is always there to both students, and teachers – adults – who need it at Hogwarts. Dreams and hopes are not just for the young. The same is true in real life. Just because you reach a certain age, it doesn’t mean that the fun and joy is gone from your life, reserved only for the young ones.

If you do feel that something is missing, re-connect with the undreamed and breathe some life into them again, for everyone has pursuits that call to them, that fill them with a higher excitement.