Gratitude as a gift
Gratitude seems to be a trend in spiritual pop culture recently, with bright, sparkly glitter gratitude journals popping up in stationery shops.
I’m a big fan of gratitude. I first started doing gratitude practices after reading The Magic, by Rhonda Byrne, 9 years ago. It has 30 unique gratitude practices in it, which you do once a day for a month.
Along with this, you have a twice-daily practice of infusing gratitude into your cells, as the author puts it. This includes making a list of 10 things you are grateful for, and why, every morning, and mentally listing another 10 things at the end of the day before you drift off to sleep each night.
I was a little sceptical at first, but I soon found that these simple practices transformed the way I looked at the world, and that’s not an exaggeration.
The positivity I felt was powerful, and brought with it a newfound peace that came with just existing, just being, which I had never experienced before. It seemed to have little to do with external circumstances; coming from an inner source rather than an outer one. Every time I looked around, I saw a new reason for why I was happy to be alive.
Before this, I wasn’t aware of how much I complained, and found a sense of lack in things. By focusing on what I didn’t have, or how much I wanted my situation to be different, I was pushing away the opportunity to appreciate what I did have.
It’s like a child with a roomful of toys to play with and enjoy, but who is sitting in a corner with their arms crossed and frowning because they only want that one specific new toy that their parents haven’t bought them yet.
And as spiritual law works (the law of attraction), the more you are grateful for what you do have, the more you will attract to you to be grateful for. This is because gratitude is an expansive energy – it acknowledges that everything is available in abundance. In the heart of gratitude is a knowing that you are provided for, in abundance, by the Universe.
Everything, from your breath, to your heart and lungs functioning the way they should to keep you alive, to the clean water and fresh food you are given, to the shelter over your head, to the money you receive, to the relationships you have, are blessings. And by complaining, I was choosing to ignore all of those gifts and instead focus narrowly on the things I had not yet received.
Gratitude as an energy, when practiced consciously, helps you to feel peaceful inside. It makes you happy to be alive. The shift may not come overnight – there’s no ‘get grateful quick’ scheme you apply to be part of, or that you can inject its benefits like a vaccine into you to safeguard against complaining. But practiced consistently and lovingly, you will see results.
Gratitude as complacency
As gratitude has gained popularity as a spiritual principle, I’ve also seen something that’s not as helpful.
Sometimes people who complain a lot actually would benefit from making changes to their lives. Sometimes the problem is not the act of complaining, it’s the external situation that gives rise to a recurring complaint. For example, say someone hates their job. It makes them miserable – they don’t like the work and their colleagues are unkind to them.
If this person constantly complains, it’s probably a sign of their unhappiness. In this case, the complaint should be used – not as a trigger for gratitude – but as a sign that they should look to ways of changing the external situation, i.e. getting a new job. Ideally, one in which they feel happier and more valued.
But instead, this person may complain and then follow it with, ‘But at least I have a job. I’m grateful to have a job. Some people don’t have jobs!’
This is a misuse of what gratitude is. Gratitude isn’t complacency; it isn’t something that we should use to excuse ourselves from the need to take practical action to change a situation that makes them unhappy. Gratitude isn’t being stuck with the cards you’re dealt, and then being expected to plaster on a fake smile and pretend to be happy about it.
Unfortunately, this is what some people seem to think it is, though. Spirituality is often misinterpreted, but at its heart it is – the ability to honestly see when something isn’t working in your life, and to change it. It’s emotional honesty, followed up with practical action where required. When ‘gratitude’ is used as a crutch to absolve us from changing something that’s completely within our power to change, it’s being used incorrectly.
You can be grateful to have a job, but also know that this particular job does not align with your values or goals.
Looking for a new job is not ungrateful, it is honouring the gratitude principle. It is acknowledging that the Universe, in its abundance, can provide for you. It can do this through a new job – one which also gives the gifts of (not just money), but also enjoyment, purpose, and being treated with respect and kindness.
Gratitude is a powerful thing, and basically it shouldn’t be used as an excuse to continue living in a miserable situation. By all means, of course you can if you want to. But you’re just short-changing yourself.
You deserve happiness and inner peace. You can be grateful for all you have, and be grateful for all the things you are about to receive.
This is very different from complaining about the things you do not have – which comes from a mindset of lack, not abundance. Shift your perspective, and amazing and wonderful things can happen.
