As a society, we collectively seem to be a bit terrified of aging. We do everything in our power to stop it, buying anti-aging creams and potions with retinol or popping pills with collagen in them.
We often want to look young for as long as possible, and while some of us may be more scared about the physical effects of aging, others are scared of the mental effects – the deterioration that happens with age, the illness.
When I was younger, I was always terrified of becoming ‘boring.’ Of one day, in my mid-50s, waking up in a 2-storey house with a white picket fence and financial security and being bored out of my miserable middle-aged brain.
This is the ‘mid-life crisis,’ and I don’t think I’ll have one anymore, specifically because I’ve already had a ‘quarter-life crisis’ in the form of severe depression at 25. Depression is a bitch, but I actually learned a lot after I healed from it. Namely – that there is nothing to be scared of.
You have no idea which way your life is headed, as much as you plan for it. You could have everything you ever dreamed of, all the goals ticked off the Ambition Bucket List, and luck could strike you down tomorrow – in the form of illness, accident, the loss of a loved one, or – depression.
I’m not saying all of this to be depressing. I guess my point is, that maybe part of the reason we are terrified of aging is because we’re actually terrified of having no control over our own lives.
Aging is something that happens to us, whether we agree to it or not. We can’t shout out to the heavens ‘No deal!’ but as long as you are living and breathing, every day you’re older than you were yesterday.
When you’re in your 30s, you’re probably not going to weigh the same as you did in your 20s, because your metabolism isn’t as great. You’ll probably have a few extra lines around your eyes.
And while you might know more than you did in your 20s, you might keep filling your brain with knowledge but somewhere along the line it’ll probably get a bit fuzzier to recall facts and be the sharpest most intelligent tool in the shed.
This is all so normal. Aging is an entirely natural process of us looking, feeling and behaving differently. We are mortal beings, and yes, we don’t have complete control of the natural cycle of change. But that’s part of the beauty of being human. You have no idea, really, what the next day could have in store for you. What the future has in store.
Your 40s, 50s, 60s and onwards could bring you more wisdom, and kindness that comes from experience. More understanding and empathy. There are so many beautiful things about being older that I feel we’ve forgotten to embrace when we become a society that’s so resistant to both inner and outer change.
Maybe crow’s feet are beautiful, because they tell a story of how much you’ve laughed. Maybe wrinkles are like a roadmap to all the places we’ve been throughout our lives. And maybe putting on a bit of extra weight as you get older is just normal, and a sign that you like to eat chocolate and cake (I know I do!)
Aging, just like everything else, is about perspective. And if you really want some more control, you can always take care of yourself the best you can, today, treating the body and mind like the temples they are.
When we age, we become more beautiful, veterans of the human experience, and this is something to be celebrated, not feared.
This Post Has 12 Comments
I really love this blog Av! Too many people live for tomorrow and forget to celebrate today! Every day is a milestone in your life! Ageing is part of the process, and some people just slay as they age! 🙂
Thanks Mick! I’m happy you enjoyed the post and it resonated with you 🙂 Totally agree, it’s an inevitable part of the process so you may as well celebrate it!
Everything said here has so much truth. Specially the crappy metabolism haha. Keep up the good work. ❤️
Thanks love! Haha I’m happy you enjoyed it <3
I love crow’s feet and laugh lines!!! Your life story starts to show on your face and it’s beautiful. I also love chocolate and cake so totally appreciate this post.
Love reading your stuff Av 💖
Yeh I agree, they show character! Hehe choc and cake are just too good to resist. Thanks lovely Sasha 🙂 <3
Your blog came at the perfect time for me. I looked into the mirror last night at the wrinkles on my forehead, mourning for the loss of a youthful appearance and envying the women who are have no internal dilemma with botox and such. It’s become so popular with women as young as in their early 20’s, and I’ve overheard them nonchalantly mentioning it as part of their essential preventative maintenance beauty routine. Just as women have their eyebrows maintained and greys dyed out, to maintain a standard representation of tidiness, what if wrinkle maintenance becomes so commonplace that those that don’t will be seen as downright unwomanly and undesirable. It’s encouraging to hear other women still questioning the unwelcome, unwarranted and depressive push of the cynical consumerist succubus that is all media. You have inspired me to stand with you, united and dignified, appreciating my appearance as it is in it’s ever changing unique way. The wrinkles do tell you about a person, you’re right. My mum has said to me before, that she has more trust and affection for people with wrinkle lines on their face, because you know they are genuinely compassionate if they have so often creased their face to express emotions. Besides, the Barbie look never pays off for the things that truly matter in life, fake breeds fake, and I want a real life with real people.
Wow, I absolutely loved reading this, Em. It’s so eloquently and honestly written and expressed. And you are so right.. it’s such an easy trap to fall into, to try and fight the process of how our body starts looking different over time.. I’ve done the same thing, when I’ve looked into the mirror sometimes and thought ‘my lips might look better if they were just a bit plumper…’ and it’s because Botox lip injections are so common these days! The fact that you sometimes experience this too when you look in the mirror just goes to show that some of the most naturally pretty women can experience this. The media images of picture-perfect women (brushed up, carefully constructed) certainly doesn’t help. I love what Sam said! <3 That’s so wise and so true, I’m going to remember that the next time I see wrinkles! ‘You have inspired me to stand with you, united and dignified, appreciating my appearance as it is in it’s ever changing unique way.’ I love this, and will definitely stand with you, you beautiful human 😊
This is great Av, especially the bit “bored… middle aged brain” haha. Could be me soon!.Good topic that everyone can relate to. keep up with your amazing writing. 😊🤗
Thanks so much for the encouragement, Mano 🙂 Haha! I doubt it, you’re always keeping yourself busy. Plus you read good books, which keeps a person interesting!
“Veterans of the human experience”, such a good read Avie xx
Thanks so much love 😊 xx
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